three years

It's been just over three years since I met Liam. And as is usually the case with life-changing events, it feels both long ago - 2017 seems like a different lifetime, so much has changed! - and like time passed really quickly at the same time. How has it already been three years?!

And such strange years. One year of long distance between Gothenburg and Chester (I recapped that first year here). Then, I moved to Manchester with Liam, where we stayed for eight fairly miserable months (though worth it, because I know his culture so much better now than if I hadn't moved, and I appreciate the experience).

And then, in the summer of 2019, we moved to Gothenburg, and spent the rest of that year pretty much dealing (or trying to deal with) with Liam's depression. That was shit! Liam worked remotely as a contractor at his old job, but lost his job in December last year (essentially because of internal politics). This turned out, surprisingly, to be great news, and his mental health got a lot better! (Turns out it's really anxiety-inducing to be treated badly at work!)

With that said, we did hope that he would be able to get a new job, preferably in Sweden, within a few months or so. I mean, he does work in IT after all ... And then Covid -19 hit, I lost all my gigs and had to cancel my choirs, and there were no jobs for Liam to apply for.

So we've been unemployed and at home together for going on nine months now.

And it's been great.

I mean - the year itself has been hard. But our relationship has thrived.

This year, we've loved each other, comforted each other, made each other laugh, listened to each other and got to know each other even better. There's no one I'd rather be in lockdown (or whatever we're calling the Swedish version of it) with. (To be fair, our apartment is 110 m2, so there's plenty of space to be alone in when we need that, even when both of us are at home. :))

In January 2018, when we'd been together for a month and I flew over to stay with him for ten days, I wrote "I can't explain it better than this: I have finally, finally found someone who can match me. In honesty, in openness, in emotional intelligence and courage, in energy, in passion, in willingness to do the work, in joy, in vulnerability." It's so true still; the joy of having found someone who can match me.

Those blog posts that I wrote three years ago, in the beginning - reading them back now gives me all the warms and fuzzies. I just threw myself into this, eyes and heart open, gathering up all my courage for this new adventure. And I was rewarded for it. Continuing the journey of growing into a team with Liam is such a joy. We're doing this relationshipping so purposefully, so intently. And it's hard work! But as it turns out, doing the work of communicating honestly and openly is worth it.

I get to have the best person in the entire world, my absolute favourite person to spend time with, someone I'm madly in love with, in my life every day. And I get to fall asleep next to him every night. It's the best.

And earlier this month, Liam got a job. A full time, exciting, challenging, interesting, well paid job; exactly the kind of job he was hoping for but didn't think he'd get as his first job in Sweden. And it means he gets to stay. He gets to stay here in Sweden with me.

Jacob Collier & the Metropole Orkest | Human Nature

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